Steven Ivory: Online Dating Profile, Before/After


Steven Ivory

*A divorced 40-year old woman decides to try her hand at Internet dating. She is nervous, curious, hopeful and optimistic. Excited. Here is her first-ever profile:

“Hello Gentlemen! I can’t believe I’m doing this. I never considered this a viable way to meet someone, but my girlfriend is engaged to a great guy she met on this site and encouraged me to try it, so here I am!

“I’m not good at talking about myself but I am told that I am attractive with a smile that lights up the room. I’ve also been told I look younger than my forty years (wow—still weird to say that number). I work in the insurance industry. Sounds boring, but I find helping customers fulfilling. I don’t have kids but greatly enjoy the company of my many nieces and nephews.

In my spare time, I love movies, hiking and walks on the beach at sunset (no, really!). I love exclusive restaurants, but I’m equally comfortable eating off one of those food trucks. I can do jeans or the little black dress and everything in between. I enjoy some sports (Go Cowboys!) and I’m up for attending a game or watching it on TV.

I don’t get to church as much as I used to, but I enjoy the fellowship and the music. I’m more spiritual than anything else.

What am I seeking here? My soul-mate, my knight in shining armor, the man who completes me. A tall order, but I know you’re out there. I had a good enough marriage that I believe the second time around will be even better.

We are all attracted to the physical, but I am more interested in who you are inside, not what you have or who you know. Just be intelligent, sincere, kind, have a sense of humor and be ready for a relationship with a woman ready to give her all to the right man. I like to hold hands. Can we hold hands? Please be a good kisser!

All my photos are current, except for the one where I’m in the cap and gown. I am excited about this new journey, and look forward to hearing from you! (SMILE!)”

Six months of online dating later, that same woman has “updated” her profile:

“I can’t believe I’m still on this thing. Keeping this profile here is testament to my faith in mankind and my willingness to prove to my girlfriend that not ALL men you meet online are lyin’ ass DOGS like her ex-fiance (PROVE HER WRONG, GUYS).

Before going any further, I’d like to make a few things clear. I WILL NOT RESPOND IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PHOTO. A lot of you guys have contacted me with no photo and expect dialogue. WTF??? …read more    


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